Peter Gammons is a great whatever. He had an aneurysm.
His CD supports a great cause, barring a perusal of their annual report, the "Foundation to be Named Later". Check out these knockout beneficiaries. Damn, if that doesn't help you sleep at night, take 25 Xanax because I'm a doctor.
So he's a good dude who says dumb things like: "Nomar Garciaparra [circa 2005] for MVP." And he's pretty much allowed carte blanche unapologetic homerism. He rode that ship to the Hall of Fame!!! Nevertheless, he seems like a good guy, right? (His CD was only "tree" dollars.)
"Tree" dollars too much. Let's look at this track by track.
1. Model Citizen - Good but not great. Also, not good. Like forcing an orchestra to play while a Tommy gun shoots them in a burning building but for good money.
2. She Fell From Heaven - Did she? Could she get up? Negative four stars.
3. Promised Land - Promised bland. Delivered. Pun time son.
4. Cinderella Superstar - Do I have to tell you how bad it is? Just look at the name and take a wild guess.
5. Death or Glory - I chose death during the first track. Please oblige.
6. NyQuil Blues - Are you trying to tell us something, Mister Gammons? Let's just check the medicine cabinet while you have a seat on the sofa.
7. Bad Teeth - Really. I won't attempt to do this justice.
8. Love's Made a Fool of You - You needed to see the looks I received at the record store for buying this. I would've left with more dignity if I took a dump on the floor and stomped the dump into the carpet. The imagery is appropriate and reflects precisely how I feel.
9. Tanqueray - Is there a CD of John Kruk's hangover noises? There is?! Is it three dollars? Great.
10. Wake Me, Shake Me - So you can start singing? No thanks. Take a long nap, Rip Van Winkle.
11. Carol - Couldn't make it this far. I guess it's about his other or John Olerud.
12. Come, Labor On - Okay, he has to be effing with me. The title of the album's last song fits too perfectly. Is he sending a message? "I know it sucks but it is for a good cause" type stuff.
In conclusion, you'll get eardrum polyps from this.