Saturday, October 31, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
Speaking of clutch, congratulations to Andre Ethier for winning Pepsi's Everyone's a Dipshit Clutchity Clutch award.
Wanna see something funny? Okay. Here's Andre Ethier's numbers this year for innings 7-9:
.260/.371/.418, 5HRs, 32 RBIs, 21 runs in 210 plate appearances.
Here's Matt Kemp's:
.349/.406/.579, 9HRs, 37 RBIs, 31 runs in 217 plate appearances.
Proving once and for all that Pepsi is a racist corporation.
(I know Ethier had better numbers in extra innings. You don't have to tell me. Keep getting boners over 24 plate appearances, racist pepsi.)
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Why did I capitalize game one?
I didn't watch the game. It was on at the bar, but when Cliff Lee is dealing, it's a foregone conclusion. Did he really need to throw 122 pitches, though? I know he's good for it, but 106 through eight with a 6-0 lead seems like a night's work. I should never question Charlie Manuel because he coaches with "his gut." Cannot question a man's gut. It's full of gutsy gut grit.
Anyway, what he did was stupid.
(Guts can't be stupid.) They can just be full of blackish gut juice and pepsin. Charlie was like: "Hey gut, what should I done? Leave him out there or send in Brett Myers for giggles? I know, I'll leave him out there. Say gut, do you like gumbo?"
His gut is full of gumbo.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Experiencing UC Symptoms? Learn More About It Here & Take The Quiz.
Colitis is one of a group of conditions which are inflammatory and auto-immune, affecting the tissue that lines the gastrointestinal system (the large and small intestine). It is classed as an inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), not to be confused with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS).
The headline of www.livingwithuc.com is
"If you are living with ulcerative colitis, you are not alone"
Obvious connection really, if you dig a little deeper.
Uncover The Truth
Uncover the truth? Learn to jump and meet aliens in other dimensions? You mean I could actually, say, Leap, Quantumly speaking? Into other dimensions? Holy crap, I have to check that out.
Burt Goldman Presents
The inter-dimensional quest for a better you
Holy crap, so not only am I Quantum Leaping.. err, jumping, into other dimensions, I'm also improving myself? Helping myself? Self helping myself? What a service! This man, Burt Goldman is truly a saint. He's helping me meet aliens and (and women too, I'm sure, with all this cool as ice quantum jumping talk, women are sure to be crawling all over me)
For only $97 you can own a 6 CD set detailing how to take charge of your life, learn to walk without a cane, become young again, do the age reversing alpha exercises, quantum leap (err, jump) inter dimensions, send testimonials to Burt, learn to paint, learn to sing, learn to fuck again! (like you were ever any good at it before you landed on QuantamJumping
This product will truly change your life! And Good ole Burt even talked his miserly publisher into selling it to you for less! Not $397, not $297, not even $197! (and do you think the use of the numerological fav #7 was an accident? This is a sign that Burt is a true mystic powerhouse.
Just an example of all the fun you can have with google ads. And somedays, like today, you may land on something that changes your life.
Now I have to go, I'm giving Burt my bank account numbers on the other line.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
The prospect of Nick Swisher giving a post game interview, as the champagne kills the very few brain cells he has left, telling me it took one game at a time. That's right, at any point in time you are, by rule, forced to play one game. There are no split squads in the playoffs. Your statement is resounding in its truth. I do hope a bus hits your bus on the way out, though.
Camera pans to Kate Hudson! Is there a more useless person than Kate Hudson? It's pretty much "Almost Famous" and a bucket of poison. Now she's going out with Alex Luthor. (Like that, I've worked on it all month. I decided to go with it even though Alex Luthor was Lex Luthor's son in comic book lore. No worries, only queers read comic books. No offense. To the literates.)
Joe Buck trying to impress us. He is really trying to impress us with his voice, knowledge and ability to relate what is happening on the field to something not immediately happening on the field. He brings ear atrophy. Not to be outdone by Tim McCarver, who is literally a mummy. I hate them both like Bubonic plague aids.
Predictions: Yankees in six. Pedro sucking and big deals being made. Bullpens sucking. A Kidrock performance.