You know what Sportscenter needs?

More Rihanna.

I go to sporting events all the time. My friends and I are always waiting with clinched fists. "When are they going to play Rihanna on the PA. It's important to my sporting experience." After the stadium finally plays Rihanna, we pick up our things and leave. Rihanna and sports go together like pig and slop.

When Sportscenter plays Rihanna, I get so pumped for segments like Six Pack Cold Hard Facts or Preparation H Hot Seat. When she sings "Go Hard" I shout back "YOU KNOW IT GIRL, I GO HARD."

Anyway, I hope her voice stops working.

Worst fucking article ever... or at least this week

The Link

The article

There's a company that plans to build a stadium outside of L.A., and that company also has plans to steal a couple of NFL teams from other cities. Their intended targets of thievery: the Buffalo Bills and Jacksonville Jaguars. From the AP:

Majestic Realty Co. managing partner John Semcken said the company is still considering at least seven franchises for a new stadium some 25 miles east of Los Angeles.

They also include the San Francisco 49ers, San Diego Chargers, Minnesota Vikings, St. Louis Rams and Oakland Raiders.

But he said the Jaguars and the Bills are at the top of the list because they play in small markets that tamp down their earning potential and because they have little hope of building larger venues in their home regions.

At the very least, that last part is true. Building a bigger stadium for Jacksonville football fans would be like building a bigger public library for high school drop-out crystal meth tweakers. It's just not going to get much use.

It's kind of a strange announcement, and if I were a Jaguars or Bills fan, I'd take it a little personally. Basically, the L.A. people have just announced that they hate you and are planning on taking something that you love. That's just not very nice.

There's no reason to panic yet, though, as we're a long way from anything like that happening. A lot of people have wanted to put a team in L.A., and every single one of them has failed to get their act together. When it comes to landing an NFL team, L.A., for about fifteen years now, has been all talk.

I wouldn't worry too much about it just yet, Bills and Jags fans. Of course, it probably wouldn't hurt to start, you know, filling your stadium, either.

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The reply


I am, for the first time in several days, speechless. In fact, I think the whole world just stopped speaking for a moment there. Someone used too many words to make an awful point. MJD you suck. You suck you suck you suck you suck.

Hey, Dennis Miller called, he wants his old tired bit back.

Hey, next time, why don't you just literally mail it in. I mean like, put it in the mail and address it yourself because this shit ain't going to work.

And, um, dear Yahoo... I know it's hard for you to believe, but many people actually read your front page and featured articles, so umm, step it up. I know, I know, you're too busy working on Yahooligans and fending off Microsoft take over bids, but really people, this is a whole new low in a list of disturbingly pathetic blogs that somehow make your front page. Let's hire an editor? Just one with some standards a touch higher than your current status quo. I can't change my email address, I'm in to0 deep. If only gmail had come out a year earlier than it did. So we're stuck together, you and I. Me and my ten thousand email inbox need you. So please, please, please suck just a little less. Every day.
Sincerely,
jjohnsonpro@yahoo.com

And MJD... HIV, get it.

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The way it should have read, minus research and editing because I don't get paid to do this shit


The Los Angeles based company that is planning to build a stadium outside of Los Angeles released a list of NFL franchises it plans on attempting to poach from their current cities. The list is obvious at best with few surprises.

Majestic Realty Co. managing partner John Semcken said the company is still considering at least seven franchises for a new stadium some 25 miles east of Los Angeles.

They also include the San Francisco 49ers, San Diego Chargers, Minnesota Vikings, St. Louis Rams and Oakland Raiders.

But he said the Jaguars and the Bills are at the top of the list because they play in small markets that tamp down their earning potential and because they have little hope of building larger venues in their home regions.

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This season has really demonstrated some of the financial difficulties that Jacksonville and Buffalo are facing, two small markets with little hope of new venues and the increased revenue streams that come with it. Buffalo is toying with the idea of playing several games in Canada to increase it's home market (this is where a touch of research would make this a publishable article) and Jacksonville, who play in the # smallest media market in football, have the # lowest attendance figures and a stadium that local residents have decided they have zero interest in upgrading.

The other teams, with the exception of Al Davis and the Raiders are really a stretch. The Los Angeles market is enormous but really less than ideal for an NFL team and the plan Majestic Reality has produced is filled with holes. Stadium location, local politics, local interest level and the sheer size of an initial investment top the list. If I were betting man I'd have my money on Jacksonville. The consensus around the league seems to be in favor of a franchise in LA, and the Jaguars lack the tradition and local interest that the Bills have. Market size alone doesn't doom a franchise, (see, Bay, Green) and creative marketing and team success will go a long way towards increased revenue in Buffalo. Jacksonville by all accounts (like most of Florida) lacks many of the pros that Buffalo enjoys. It also has a hard time keeping it's stadium full, often the biggest sign that a team's time is up.

It will be years before anything happens in LA, but Majestic Reality seems more focused than any recent group and their actions due deserve note. We here at the Shutdown Corner will keep you posted as news develops.