Friday, September 11, 2009

Clearly My Team Is The Best

in our first annual 20 team Illiterate Blog NFL Fantasy Football draft. I hope this is a keeper league. Now someone trade me Adrian Peterson. I have lots to offer:

Round Pick Player Position

1. (8) Larry Fitzgerald WR
2. (33) Brett Favre QB
3. (48) Minnesota DEF
4. (73) Visanthe Shiancoe TE
5. (88) Percy Harvin WR
6. (113) Chester Taylor RB
7. (128) Sidney Rice WR
8. (153) Ryan Longwell K
9. (168) Adrian Peterson RB
10. (193) Sage Rosenfels QB
11. (208) Tarvaris Jackson QB
12. (233) Jaymar Johnson WR
13. (248) Darius Reynaud WR
14. (273) Jim Kleinsasser TE
15. (288) John David Booty QB

Monday, September 7, 2009

KFC vs. Subway

It won't let me embed it, so this will have to do.

webster's defines "whatever"

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Preseason NFL Cloud

The larger the word, the more times I've heard it said in the last two months. Needless to say, the WILDCAT OFFENSE!!!!!!! has stolen the show. 

Ten Minutes or Less: An entire NFL Preview

Starting NOW

New England Patriots: Tom Brady is not going to get hurt, people. Yet. Stay tuned for details.

Buffalo Bills: The TO Show went 1-15

Miami Dolphins: Resigned David Boston to a ten dayer. Just kidding. Twitter and the Tuna will MURDER YOUR FAMILY.

New York Jets: Leon

Houston Texans: Stop getting your hopes up. The masters of the 8-8

Tennessee Titans: I've got nothing.

Indianapolis Colts: No more Shooty Harrison, like he wasn't riding out into the sunset anyway? (Guns blazing)

Jacksonville Jaguars: The addition of Torry Holt's disgusting fingers will suffice. Suffice for what? I don't know, go away.

Pittsburgh Steelers: Big Ben hates pockets and the ladies?

Cleveland Browns: Mangenius? More like Mangiardia.

Cincinnati Bengals: Marvin Lewis. First to get fired, first in your hearts.

Baltimore Ravens: "Unibrower Power: Flac & co. get it done" -Baltimore Sun

Denver Broncos: Suck

Oakland Raiders: Sucker

Kansas City Chiefs: The logical progression would be suckiest but they are probably better than the last two teams mentioned.

San Diego Chargers: Norv Turner's skin flakes make great furniture. (what?)


Dallas Cowboys: "Romo Smitten? Love affair with Witten" -Baltimore Sun

Washington Redskins: I smell seven victories and sour cheddar flavoring

New York Giants: Whatever

Philadelphia Eagles: Vick and dogs and Vick and dogs and Vick and dogs

Atlanta Falcons: Ryan and cats and Ryan and cat and Ryan and cats (conspiracy)

Carolina Panthers: Hillbilly interception, call elias

Saints: who cares?

Bucs: Sorry, NOW WHOCARES?

Packers: Fuck 'em

Bears: Diabetus never won anything

Vikigns: FAVRE SIX TO MIDNIGHT From Peter King

Lions: stafford fat cheeks

Cards: warner.hurt.bookit.

Rams: sleeper, comatose

Seahawks: the most boring thing ever

49ers: this division, I mean my god