Trending Topic Suggestions

You are on the graveyard known as Twitter, yes? Check out the right side of the screen on that there Twitter. IT'S THEM TWITTER TOPICS.

If you put one of these (#) in front of what you say, you can create your own topic, and maybe it will become a trend. For example, dorks are typing #iranelection to share some thoughts on the Iranian Election, which was forever ago, so no one gives a frog shit about it.

I've tried desperately to get #hitlerious going, but alas. ALAS!! I am not nearly popular enough to do it. Only the_real_shaq can help me! Or you? Here are some that I have been pondering:

#howmycatdied - Am I the only one fascinated with these stories? I'm devoting an entire chapter in my personal diary to them. Grandpa left the garbage disposal on.

#brettfavreswineflu - This may be going to the well one too many times, but it needs to happen.

#whereIwastouched - This one is also about Grandpa.

#howmuchnutellacanYOUeat - I put nutella on corn. I will be the MVP.

#racistthoughts - LOL

#bicuriouswithcelebrity - For me, it's simple: Danny Gans

#justsawgforce - To weed out the retardeds.

#tacobidet - Right?

#carlosmenciaprison - You know it.

#thehookeronlypassedoutbutsheiscoveredindnawhatarewegonnadoguysIcantgobacktoprison - Yeah! STUPENDOUS!

#smokingiscool - Because it is. Don't listen to those truth pantywastes. The pot has melted their brains.

#cincinnatihotplate - YOWZERS. TWITTARD.

#farmerssuck - Farmers are filling our food with trans fats. That's fat that lives with dual gender identities.

#erinandrewsdeservesoursupportourtroops - Combine a lot of things to make new things.

#alzheimersmemorywalk - LOL, DON'T GET LOST!

#warrenbuffettcaneatone - We'll show him.

#whatmakesyoushit - Nutella here.

#suicidesnotfunny - "Especially when it happens to babies." -Nick Swardson

#twitterblackhole - SPACE RACISM, SPACISM

#bologna - YOU ARE

#howdidyoulosealimb - If it doesn't apply, make it apply. Be a team player.

#hitlerslostkids - They are probably different.

#goodreasonstostabsomebody - The list is quite long.

#vidiergamesisimportant - Truth and facts pandemic = Twitter

###### - Send Twitter to hell with this rip in spacetime.

#poltergeistporn - Make it happen Little Hollywood.

#ijustdiedinyourarmstonightmustvebeensomethingyoutwittered - Updated for today's lazy/boring generation.

#pourmilkshakesoninvalids - Or as I call it, my weekend.

#ididalotofboringshittodaybutthankgodifinallycanputitupontheinternetforstrangerstosee - Man, there is angst in my DNA.

#redstoolatnightdoctorsdelight - Something personal.

#nazidogscallmichaelbay - Have an idea? Call Michael Bay.

#whatdidyoustealtoday - I stole a rolo cylinder from the gas station. The thrill of my life.

#swearonyourmothersgrave - I mean step on it and say curse words.

#popcornandporntuesday - It's either this or go to the aquarium while The Moody Blues plays and Morgan Freeman narrates.

#allergictobananassunday - The Sabbath. CC Sabbathia.

#gimmebackmyson - I yell this to end conversations I do not enjoy.

Now it is your turn.