Wednesday, October 28, 2009


The site isn't letting me embed the video, so you'll have to click on it.

So you're a reporter for WGN in Chicago and you want to get some man on the street interviews
for a UFO story. How can you not go up to the guy who looks like he's coming off of mushrooms?
What a nugget of TV gold. The funniest part to me are the google ads that are associated with 
the video. The #1 match?

Colitis Symptoms
Experiencing UC Symptoms? Learn More About It Here & Take The Quiz.

from wikipedia

Colitis is a chronic digestive disease characterized by inflammation of the colon.

Colitis is one of a group of conditions which are inflammatory and auto-immune, affecting the tissue that lines the gastrointestinal system (the large and small intestine). It is classed as an inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), not to be confused with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS).

The headline of is 

"If you are living with ulcerative colitis, you are not alone

Obvious connection really, if you dig a little deeper.

Ad #2? 

Uncover The Truth

Learn to Jump and Meet Aliens in Other Dimensions

Uncover the truth? Learn to jump and meet aliens in other dimensions? You mean I could actually, say, Leap, Quantumly speaking? Into other dimensions? Holy crap, I have to check that out.

Burt Goldman Presents

Quantum Jumping

The inter-dimensional quest for a better you

Holy crap, so not only am I Quantum Leaping.. err, jumping, into other dimensions, I'm also improving myself? Helping myself? Self helping myself? What a service! This man, Burt Goldman is truly a saint. He's helping me meet aliens and (and women too, I'm sure, with all this cool as ice quantum jumping talk, women are sure to be crawling all over me)

For only $97 you can own a 6 CD set detailing how to take charge of your life, learn to walk without a cane, become young again, do the age reversing alpha exercises, quantum leap (err, jump) inter dimensions, send testimonials to Burt, learn to paint, learn to sing, learn to fuck again! (like you were ever any good at it before you landed on QuantamJumping

This product will truly change your life! And Good ole Burt even talked his miserly publisher into selling it to you for less! Not $397, not $297, not even $197! (and do you think the use of the numerological fav #7 was an accident? This is a sign that Burt is a true mystic powerhouse. 

Just an example of all the fun you can have with google ads. And somedays, like today, you may land on something that changes your life. 

Now I have to go, I'm giving Burt my bank account numbers on the other line.


  1. Good to have you back. I'm planning on suing the guy that hit you. You being gone has hurt our business greatly.

  2. Major issues with formatting... I think I'll just let this one sink to the bottom of the list.