Saturday, August 22, 2009

More LLWS "Insight"

I was watching Chula Vista versus Kentucky (don't quote me on the teams involved or the transpirings).

I love it when the kids wear eye black. It serves as a makeshift tear test to show you just how much they've cried. When Chula Vista lead 14-0, one of the Kentucky kids had eye black draining down his chin. Hey champ, embrace the mercy of the ten run rule and maybe be older and take bull semen like the Chula Vista team. (Kinda throwing around accusations here......but they were totally on something, especially the one kid named Luke "extra hormones in the milk" Martinez)

Then one player, and I won't name him (cause I forgot), listed his favorite athlete as Tim Tebow. No, no, it happened. I know! He was also tweaky and didn't have his uniform fully buttoned. Kids and old people are the punchlines of the human race.

Now allow me to type more right things. You ever notice how the teams closest in proximity to cheap steroids and questionably aging youngsters seem to win? If not, take note of that in the future.

Also, take this note: "Don't watch LLWS around people who like it while drunk at a bar. Who in the hell are these losers? Is this shit the new World Series of Poker? God, don't get me started on that. I mean, poker? I know there's probably skill in the decision making than most pessimists lead you to believe, but IT'S A G.D. CARD GAME ON TELEVISION. WHAT CHANGES FROM YEAR TO YEAR? Bring back the XFL, I say. Or televise minor league baseball. If you know someone who watches card games on TV, they are a fat person. Oh look...look! That one guy had a flush. Here's a flush *flushes bidet with figurative turd in it* What's next? Piano recitals. Piano recitals are next."



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  2. I watched some celebrity poker once because Sarah Silverman was on. And I think some celebs do the ESPN one. I don't have a point to make.

  3. I liked playing little league and enjoy playing poker. You and I are natural enemies.

    However, I'd prefer that ESPN aired strongman competitions to poker tournaments. What happened to Magnus Von Magnusson?