Sunday, August 23, 2009

Fantasy Draft Advice: WRs

1. Larry Fitzgerald

He was on the Madden Cover, so don't draft him no matter how far he falls.

2. Andre Johnson

ESPN said that he could get hurt. Cross him off all your lists now.

3. Calvin Johnson

He's the sexy pick for #1 WR this year, but I don't buy it. He has some nice physical features, but he's no Tom Brady. Don't consider him either.

4. Randy Moss

Despite popular belief, he did have Tom Brady for part of last year. Don't draft him, because he could end up not having Tom Brady at all this year. Gay joke? You decide.

5. Steve Smith, Panthers

I bet you think I'm going to say that you shouldn't draft him. You're right.

6. Reggie Wayne

You can draft him, but I wouldn't.

7. Greg Jennings

He probably feels like Brett Favre betrayed the Packers, but I don't think that matters.

8. Roddy White

Have you noticed how this is lazier than anything I've ever written?

9. Terrell Owens

Do you think he's banging those two chicks on his TV show? Yes, I'll admit it, I have watched parts of his show.

10. Anquan Boldin

You didn't hear it from me, but he could finish with more fantasy points than Larry Fitzgerald. I'm not saying he will, but it's possible, kinda.

11. TJ Houshsmasomething

I have him higher on this list than on my real list because I want to mess your teams up.

12. Wes Welker

Draft him here if you have a Pats fan in your league. They would trade both of their nuts for him. Don't accept this trade, because nuts don't have much value, but it's a good start.

13. Roy Williams

He was bad with the Cowboys last year, but that's only because TO was always bullying him. I heard he ran home from practice crying one day because TO gave him a wedgie. He saw a therapist all summer, and it sounds like he's recovering well.

14. Dwayne Bowe

I'm not sure what the Chiefs are trying to prove by not putting Bowe as the starter on the depth chart. I'm pretty sure he's the only healthy WR in Missouri.

15. Marques Colston

I'm too lazy to think of anything.

16. Brandon Marshall

He hasn't learned the playbook, he wants to be traded, and he's got nagging injuries. Don't worry about any of those, because it's just fantasy football.

17. Eddie Royal

You'd have to be an idiot to put Marshall above Royal.

18. Chad Ochocinco

Did you see him kick that extra point?

19. Braylon Edwards

I really wasn't prepared for this list. Laziness.

20. Vincent Jackson

I quit.