Tuesday, August 18, 2009

As the only person who hasn't typed anything about Brett Favre or Michael Vick, let's do this

Hello. I am the only person on the planet who hasn't publicly weighed in on either Michael Vick or Brett Favre.

I will start with Michael Vick. Guys, dog fighting is wrong, but he has done his time, and he should be allowed to get a job in the NFL. When football players like Michael Vick pay their dues, they have earned the right to rejoin the league, even though in this case fighting dogs is immoral. That's a given. And really, justice was served and Vick's punishment was levied. Don't dog fight. Jobs are to be had. Football players who do illegal things can rejoin society, as well as rejuvenate their playing careers. Making dead dogs is not right, nor is it morally kosher. But if you do make dead dogs, be a good athlete, and you'll get your comeuppance against the man. Don't get me wrong, but do get dogfighting wrong, because it is. WRONG. Then again, daddy needs to eat, and dog meat just doesn't fill daddy's filet mignon stomach. To eat, daddy needs to get out of prison and get that paper. Dogs are helpless creatures who could kill you if you drop your hat, thus completing the phrase "drop of a hat." Fighting them is not cool, but try to do it discreetly enough that you can keep your job. Pay off your debt to society and remember that canine murder is impolite, putting it lightly.

I will end with Brett Favre. Drop dead, hillbilly.



  1. I haven't said anything either because I can't take it anymore.

    P.S. I've been praying for Brett Favre to drop dead the past 15 years now...

  2. And now you have to watch him quarterback your team. Is this your version of hell?